Former presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton jointly addressed the media this morning to dispute the ranking of President Trump’s inauguration viewership. Nielson recently indicated that 30.6 million viewers watched President Trump’s inauguration, which ranks it as the fifth highest total viewership. It narrowly edged out Clinton’s 1993 and Bush’s 2001 inaugurations, which had 29.7 million viewers and 29 million viewers, respectively. Dropping to sixth and seventh in the record books incensed the two men.

“If you deduct the millions of illegals who watched his inauguration, our viewerships beat his very, very, easily,” Clinton asserted. Bush agreed, and contended that none of the illegals watched their inaugurations. “None of those went to us. We didn’t have anything to say,” Bush declared. “Trump scares them shitless, of course they all watched him!” Both refused to accept the “fake ratings” and described Nielson as sad, failing, and “a disaster for democracy.”