DAVIS, CA — After years of relative REM quietude that turned out to be just a gestation period for repressed trauma, the nightmare originally conduced by a regrettable childhood viewing of The Brave Little Toaster has returned with a vengeance to haunt the newly restless slumber of area man Stu Collins. Local sources confirmed the unsuspecting Collins thought he had forgotten about the awful things in that awful movie, including but not limited to the manic old air conditioner that shorts out and dies in a horrifying spasm of rage, that part in the meadow with the creepy animals, the pawn shop with the disturbingly rendered appliances, and the titular toaster’s waking nightmare about burning down the house as a result of his own malfunction.
Reached for comment while still entangled in a mess of linen, Collins noted particularly upsetting visions of an evil firefighter clown menacing the film’s heroic widget with a hose and fork: “Why would they even put that in that stupid movie?” Pausing to wipe the cold sweat still beading on his brow, he continued, “I mean, Jesus, where the hell did that even come from? I haven’t watched that carnival ride into hell since my mother took me to see it in theaters literally decades ago.”
In a possibly related incident, at press time, multiple neighborhood residents had called the local hotline to complain about the unsightly broken down window unit lying on the sidewalk outside of third-floor Collins’ apartment in a heap of twisted metal.