In quiet, non-intrusive prayers around the world, meek people queried the Lord when they would inherit the earth. Citing the famous Sermon on the Mount, the shy and bashful of the world voiced concerns that the day of reckoning would not come.

“Not to be a bother,” said Wilson Chapman, bag-boy from Omaha, Nebraska , “but we were just curious about when exactly Jesus was talking about. It’s been almost 2,000 years now.”

“Agreed,” said Isabella Gutierez, quinoa farmer from Lima, Peru. “If you have a second, I try not to stir up trouble, but I seem to work a lot harder and get a lot less than some. It could be argued they are inheriting a lot more than we are. Not that I’m complaining, or anything!” These concerns were quietly echoed by diamond miners in southern African nations, clothing makers in Bangladesh, and iPhone factory workers in China.

The Lord, his son Jesus Christ, and The Holy Spirit were all unavailable for comment, but St. Peter released a statement saying “Like so many things, this is part of God’s plan. We are still in development in this department, but hope to have results in the near future.”

In related inquiries, those that mourn were awaiting comfort, and the pure in heart were awaiting their meeting with God.