Citing recent developments
, including North Korea resuming missile tests , and President Trump’s increasingly aggressive rhetoric, the Union of Concerned Scientists has changed its name to the Union of Very Concerned Scientists. The non-profit advocacy group, composed of private citizens and professional scientists, explained that “concerned” no longer adequately captured their the sentiments of its members.
“We’d be lying if we said we were simply concerned,” said Dr. Samantha Fergusen, nuclear physicist from MIT. “And it’s not just the nuclear war stuff. Have you seen the latest climate news? We are definitely very concerned at this point. The human race is closer to destroying large portions of itself than ever before.”
“People keep looking to us to fix things,” said Dr. Gregory Washington, climate scientist at the University of Maine. “Do you realize how fast you are fucking things up? Give us a chance to catch up!” he added, stressing that there is no quick fix to nuclear winter, devastating flooding, or dwindling clean drinking water. “You all want us to wave a magic wand to fix the things we’ve been warning you about for decades. Unfortunately, we’re way behind; we figured you’d slow down at some point, but it’s looking more every day like our faith in humanity was clearly undeserved.
The group has also trademarked Union of Increasingly Alarmed Scientists, “just to be safe.”